Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Shit my kids say regarding love and jealousy

I didn't expect that "young love" jealousy would come at literally such a young age.  Seriously, I think six is way to young to start being over possessive towards a potential "love" interest.  Isn't that for high school, not kindergarten?

Riding home in the car with the family I'm browsing Facebook when I come across a picture from a play date two of my girlfriends had for their kids.  The picture was of the girl "B" hugging the boy "A."  B is one of Monster's best friends and A is Monster's crush.  I thought the picture was adorable and quickly showed it to Hubs (who was driving) so Monster couldn't see it.  In that millisecond of showing Hubs the picture Monster saw it... 

Monster: "Is that B hugging A?!"
Me: "Yea?  So?"
Monster: "Ugh!  You know that I like him!"
Bug: "What's wrong, Monster?  Are you....::snicker/giggle::  jealous?"
Monster: ::Primal rage raptor scream:: "DON'T JUDGE ME!"

For a visual this is how Monster looked...

Now picture the noise that the raptors made in Jurassic Park and tie that all in.  That was Monster.  As if all that wasn't funny enough for me to take in Monster got all 14 year old girl emo on us and blurted out...

Monster: "He doesn't like me..."
Me: "Yes, he does.  Remember you were his Valentine?"
Monster: "Yea...  But I'm not pretty!"
Me: "Yes you are, you look like mommy!  Saying your not pretty means that mommy isn't pretty because you look like mommy."
Monster: "No I don't look like mommy!  I look like a tree that is about to barf!"
Me:  ::uncontrollable laughter::
Monster: ::giggling because my laugh is contagious::

What exactly does a tree that's about to barf look like?  

Just when Monster was getting more perked up Bug decided to take it upon her sisterly duties to poke fun at her...

Bug: ::sing-song like:: "Monster is jealous of Bbbbb! Monster is jealous of Bbbb!"
Me: ::through giggles from the imagine a barfing tree picture:: "Bug!  Stop picking on your sister!"
Monster:  "Oh yea!  Well, watch this!  DADDY!  Wanna know who Bug has a crush on!"
Bug:  ::gasp::
Hubs:  "Who!?"
Monster: "BAT!"    *BAT is A's older brother*
Hubs: "Bug and BAT sitting in a tree!  K-I-S-S-I-N-G!  First comes love---"
Bug: "Stooppp!!!"
Hubs: "Then comes marriage!"
Bug:  "Daaaaaaa  ahhhhhhhh dddddeeeeeeee!!!

A mini melt down commenced any normal person would have flipped out from all the noise in the car.

but, that is my life...  Loud and messy!  I couldn't make Hub's stop picking on Bug.  I can't be taken seriously when I'm laughing about trees that look like they are about to barf. 



  1. hahaha I would be laughing hysterically, too! That line "a tree about to barf" is solid gold! Reminds me of when my brother told me my head looked like "a mushroom in the sea." hahaha
    Oh, I dread these days. I have 2 little girls, age 2 & 4. To think this might be happening in 2 years oh boy *shudder* thanks for the heads up!

    1. "Mushroom in the sea" LOVE IT!!! LMAO! How old were you guys? I love random kid lines! My girls are 8 and 6 now... You're time is coming! Beware!

  2. This is hysterical! I'm working at a preschool right now and we have a "couple" and holy cow - it's too funny to watch. She gave him a bracelet last week, and it was quite the thing.

    1. I love it and hate it at the same time! It's so freaking cute but at the same time it's like "You're not even in the double digits for age!" lol