Here's an even bigger problem, I don't know if I remember what makes my soul happy on an independent level. Of course I know that being with my family and friends is the greatest joy (a majority of the time haha) of my life. Laughter is my absolute favorite sound and being able to make people smile and laugh makes me feeling amazing. However, I feel like my happiness is too dependent on others. I want to find something that I can do daily to decompress. Something that makes my soul happy. Something that doesn't involve me staring away at Supernatural for hours on end...
In addition to blogging other things that I think I enjoy doing solo are home projects, puzzles, and... yea, that's all I can think about. All these hobbies are things that require time. Time.
Time is the culprit in keeping me from remembering what makes my soul happy. Time is that one thing that I'm sure every person in this world probably wishes they had more of. Lately my time has been between my career and my senior year of college. While my career is awesome my senior year is not going so well. The demands are much more than what I'm used to. My weekdays are consumed with sneaking in readings, discussions, and postings. My weekends (typically Sunday because I wait until the last minute) are filled with research and papers. I had been trying to suck it up, but I noticed it was taking too much time away from my family and I was just really unhappy.
I don't think it's fair to my family to have to deal with me being unhappy. I don't think it's fair to myself! This is why I've decided I need to take a break from college. I wanted to be a successful mom, wife, friend, career woman and student but in that process of trying to be successful in everything I feel like I'm losing myself. With the time off school I hope I can reevaluate the meaning of success. It's not a piece of paper. It's the moments where I feel peaceful, happy, fulfilled.